"You Can Count On Me"
Living Within Boundaries, and Feeling Your Love Flow Again

Couples Retreat and Support Organization

 Featuring your personalized "Spouse Handbook" (The White Book)

    Next all day workshop to be announced (For now, please join us every other Wednesday for the "You Can 
    Count On Me" coaching/socials.  Call Narelle at (801)548-8212

Admission to Concert the night before is included with your registration.

1) Make powerful agreements that will launch your marriage to the next level-- WAY to the next level! 2) Train your mind away from the nightmare of “fight or flight” to the wonderful world of "express and request." 3) Learn how to treat your marriage and family relationships with the same respect, and attention to process, procedure, and dignity than you do your job or other volunteer involvements. 4) See your marriage as the exhilarating pathway to the spiritual treasures you seek.

The old axiom "an ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure" is amazingly applicable to marriage and family relationships. With just a little bit of time put toward the relationships that mean the most to you, you can experience the miracle of relationship repair and the happiness of a truly solid and loving future.  Let's get you on track to the kind of relationship you really want!!  Don’t be shy.  No one else has a perfect marriage either!  Come and join us.  Make an investment in what matters the most!

Complete this questionnaire to see if the Y.C.C.O.M. program is for you
1) Have you ever wondered (even briefly) whatever happened to the person you married, and who this stranger is that you are waking up to every day?
2) Do you ever muse (even briefly, or rarely) on the possibility of trading what you've got in for another one (in this life, or the next?).
3) Have you ever felt discouraged in your attempts to resolve certain reoccurring, reappearing, rehashed, recycled issues?
4) Do you have to turn the lights completely off in order to kiss your spouse?
5) Does it sometimes feel like a stretch to hold hands?
6) Have you ever played with the idea of “starting your life again” (without him or her) once the kids are grown?
7) Does it sometimes feel like you are, to some degree, just putting on a good front for the neighbors vs. experiencing a truly happy marriage?
8) Dr. Reuben Hill once described marriage as Holy Deadlock vs. Holly Wedlock and stated that his research indicated 1 out of every 13 marriages is truly happy.  Do you ever wonder if you are one of the 12?
9) Do you ever wonder (even a little) what on earth you were thinking when you said "I do?"
10) Do you ever fantasize about what it would be like to be married to ________________?

If you answered "yes" to 4 ore more of the above questions, keep reading.


Covered at the workshop

Life and Love Basics
Living in Door #1 (Inviting the spirit into my heart,
      by minding my own business)
   Making every moment a gift
   The greatest gift of all - Our Boundaries
Mastering “blame to pain”

Communication and Marriage Repair Basics
  The “Law of Cross Keys” – The “Law of Opportunity”
   Why You chose each other, and what you need
Unconditional Trust (and how to get there)
   The power of "enrollment"
   The importance of ”Clearing” and “Accounting”
      (Two aspects of an open heart)
The power of apology
The art of E.R. ("Express and Request") -
When, How, Who, What etc.

"Personalized Spouse Handbooks"
Section by section explanation and work


The "You Can Count On Me" Couples Retreat includes:
-One day workshop retreat (topics on this page)
-Concert and social the night before (if applicable)
-Personalized Spouse Handbook
     (including the Y.C.C.O.M. 7 Agreements)
-Link to the "You Can Count On Me"
-“Parent Recovery” materials
-Link to the "Personalized Spouse Handbook" materials
-4 follow up trainings

After this, you have the option of continued support in the form of conference calls and/or support meetings.


“After 20 years of trying to resolve marital and family issues, including 10 years of counseling and other programs we have finally realized the breakthroughs we’ve been seeking in John Canaan’s weekend workshops and follow up support.  Great relationships don’t just happen.  Start now with this program!”
– Kathleen Myers Beal


To register for the "You Can Count On Me" training and support association please call Narelle Beales at (801)548-8212.

For a "word" formatted flyer please click here: www.johncanaan.com/materials/You-Can-Count-On-Me-Card-Flyer.doc

You Can Count On Me to Love You I see that you are not in the way of what I want. I see that you are the way—that it is through my relationship with you that I am learning about love in a way I never could have. That it is through the challenges in our relationship that I have the most amazing opportunity to become a man (woman) of compassion, patience, strength, understanding, humility, discipline and forgiveness.

It is through loving you that I come to know what love really is-- that it is not something that happens to me (as I’ve seen in the movies)— it is something, that happens in me. It is the condition of my heart and soul.  And my heart and soul, in moving toward this condition have naturally brought me to exactly what I’ve needed— you. In saying “I do” to you my journey to love became sure. You are the way.          So, no matter how I feel from day to day, no matter what my inclination is to live in disappointment (an address I seem to enjoy sometimes), I promise you, that if you will do the same, I will continue to love you and serve you.  I will lift you, grow with you and take care of you.  I will come to know you-- every part of you—every little feeling-- every dream—every fear and every yearning.  I will hear you when you need to be heard.  I will see you when you feel invisible.  I will hurt with you when you hurt, laugh with you when you laugh, learn to care about what you care about and learn to do and say the things that make you feel the most loved.  But more so, I will be patient with you as you learn to love me.   Because I know it’s not always easy to love me.  But I will be faithful to you as you are learning.      Thank you for your love.  Thank you so much for your love.  Because I do feel it.  Thank you for being my partner.  Thank you for your commitment—a commitment that is giving me a chance to find my Heavenly Father in a way I might not ever have been able to— to feel the peace He knows, and in a small sense, to be the love that He is.  You can count on me to love you.   I will always love you— I will be here-- and in being here, give more to you, to our children, to God and to everyone on this planet, than I ever could have, in any other way.  You can count on me to love you.

The “You Can Count on me” 7 Agreements.

1) You Can Count on me to see you as the way-- not in the way.

2) You can count on my unconditional trust, and my willingness to connect to your love.

3) You can count on me to think in terms of what I can do and am willing to do vs. what you should do-- (to be positive, proactive and empowered within “Door #1”)

4) In this, you can count on my boundaries (which live in and lead to the happy and loving land of “zero expectations.”)
“ I am the steward of my good feelings for you. 
      And I will do whatever it takes to protect my good  
      feelings toward you.”

5) You can count on me to see my feelings as my servant, not my master.

”If in the dark we lose sight of the love, hold my hand and have no fear.
      ‘Cause I will be here.” –Stephen Curtis Chapman

“What’s inside of us may not matter.  What we choose to do is everything.” - Batman

6) You can count on me to put you and your needs first and to implement practices and resources that support this.

Don’t be surprised to see me walking around with my “You Can Count on Me” workbook.

7) You can count on me to communicate with you in predictable ways and to otherwise, treat our relationship with complete and abiding care.  You can count on me to continue to handle volatile communication by process-- training  my mind away from “flight or flight” and toward “express and request” vs. trying to  manage issues and our lives “on the fly.”  In this, you can count on me showing up for you and our relationship with the same respect, dignity and attention to process and  procedure as I do my career or all the other things in my life that are far less important than you. 

 “What we have in most marriages, is not broken partners or even broken relationships, but broken processes.  It is not the issues and wounds that drive couples apart.
It the lack of correct communication process.  When issues are not handled effectively they tend to bunch up, layer into each other and become unmanageable messes. 
       But dealt with properly, with and effective process issues and wounds begin to untangle and separate from each other.  Once this begins to occur it is almost as if the issues and wounds begin to heal themselves.” - John

A Message to potential participants from John Canaan:
A lot of people have asked me "Why on earth would I go to a marriage retreat given by a divorced person?"  I have to say, If it was me, I probably wouldn't go.  It just doesn't make any sense -- at least logically.  But logic aside, I promise you that something very special will happen in your life in connection with this program-- not because of who I am, but because of who you are, and what you really want.  I know this, because I wanted it too.  I was married to the most wonderful woman in the world, who I still love and always will (we are close friends to this day).  Things didn't work out with us, partly, because I was simply unwilling to see how close we were to the edge of the cliff.  You don't need to do that.  Your pride isn't worth your marriage.  Pick a resource.  If it's not this one, pick another. 
      But I will make promise to you about this retreat.  People like Paul and Alma, after really messing up, came back at life with a vengeance (in a good sort of way, as you know).  I have too.  And I thank my Heavenly Father that He has taken the mess I've given him and handed me back a miracle.  Because that's what, through His "tender mercy", this program is.  The couples who are currently involved in Y.C.C.O.M. have experienced complete turn-arounds in their marriages.  I even recently met with my former wife Margo and gave her a demonstration of the basic "clearing" (E.R.) that is at the center of the program.  I was touched to hear her later say "John, had we been involved in this kind of program when we were married, we might have made it."
      Please consider giving us a chance to assist and encourage you in finding the hidden miracle in your own marriage.   I invite you to be open to the incredible possibilities that may be right in front of you!  -- John Canaan